Than
any town I know,
Where there is a good field,
To have
young people grow
With schools and churches and two good banks,
Three
thousand people, with very few cranks,
Two weekly papers, another one twice
Plenty
of lawyers that give good advice
A list of fine doctors, whenever we re sick,
Two
good hotels, stone and of brick,
Other places where room and board can be found
If you
want to stay a while, and kinda look around,
We have the best dentists, in the North of the South
that
make their own living, from hand to mouth,
Three drug stores, with a line of good dope.
Barbers
that handle the best shaving soap,
Masons and Eagles, and the Marcabees,
Eastern
Star, Odd Fellows, and a lodge of K.P. s
Three hardware and two furnature stores,
They
will furnish your homes with carpeted floors,
Three restaurants, two on the Main Street,
They
will give you the best in the market to eat,
Two good plumbers and three butcher shops,
That
will doctor your pipes and sell you porkchops,
Millinery stores with ladies fine hats,
And
some other stores for the buying of wraps,
Stenography girls regardless of youth
Will do
all your work with typewritten truth,
Garages a plenty for automobiles,
And
stores that sell shoes, besides the two Diehls,
Tailors make clothes for the arms and the legs,
A Taylor near the depot, that buys and
sells eggs,
Two shops for repairing, and pressing your clothes,
And
three other places for mending your shoes,
Two places open for welling near beer,
Where
billiard and pool can be played in the rear,
If you wish good jewelry, C. L. Mellot
Or the
one across the street, who is Harry L. Bott,
You can have your eyes tested, to have them just right
For
some people s optics are bum in the sight,
Milligan, Bertram, and others for gum,
Two
fouring mills, one by Archer and Son,
Insurance agents, a Building and Loan,
by
saving your money you soon have a home
Real estate agents, Buckio and McGurdy,
Both of
these gentlemen you ll find very sturdy
Grocery stores that are all up to date,
One of
them was run on the Co-operate,
A fine baker shop, his flour well screened,
Where
everything handled is spotlessly cleaned,
You can go the movies, on every week night,
The
manager will treat you all right,
Jim Masters the marshal, and Taylor the mayor,
Each of
these officers are always there.
We have a railroad that is crooked and thin
Does
pretty good for the condition it s in,
A fine post office, for handling the mail
From
the rear of this building you can see the jail,
Bert Williams sells music for the sick and the well,
Jim
Bishop grows flowers that are there with the smell,
Our country folks happy while tilling the soil,
And
leasing some land for the boring for oil,
Some of our people in wells have done fine
Among
them my friend, Mr. Aaron Goldstein,
We ve a telephone plant, to call up your friends,
Mike
and Dave Schahet, who gather up odds and ends,
We have a town clock, now and then slips an notch,
That
was built for poor people, that can t buy a watch,
We have as fine women, both single and married,
As any
other town in the state, ever carried,
Tobacco to be tied, and a Cigar Plant,
Haberdashery
clothing to beat them you can t,
A department store, when the farmers come in
They
always remember to call and see Jim,
Auto agents, who tell you how everyone feels,
When
they buy the best car ever run on four wheels,
Our water is the finest that you ever drank,
Our
cisterns are filtered we draw it with a crank,
Our city water works, are built out of town,
The
water is clear, when it ain t brown,
Our electric light system is a little lame-
John s
a friend of mine, he s not to blame,
We have natural gas, at times it s all right,
One
time this winter, it was clear out of sight,
We have our grafters, like any other town,
In the
hotel lobbies, they are generally found.
To them there is nothing new under the sun,
Then I
knew it would happen before it begun,
In a year from now, if we have good luck,
We will
have fine roads for Bus and Truck.
When the war broke out, we did our bit,
We sent
our boys to France that turned out to be it,
Bought Liberty Bonds and War Savings Stamps
And
everything else, and we looked for a chance
To win the World War, was our great aim,
God
bless the Red Cross, for she played a good game,
A health office and nurses, come handy when sick,
If
there is any hope, you get well very quick.
Our creamery butter, is the best in the land,
They
also have ice for the summer at hand,
John Burgbacher s lumber, can always be bought,
If you
want to build a house or a barn on your lot,
Rig builders, tool dressers, and others are found
For
your $3.00 oil, when it comes from the ground,
Two Oil Well Supplies, and two livery barns,
Babeturner
mends harness, for the city or farms,
Raymond Morris takes pictures, for you now and then,
If you
want something cheap, go to our five and ten,
We have carpenters, plasterers, and others to date,
When
you wish a job done, why you don t have to wait,
We have a tool company, that has a good plan,
For
furnishing work for the laboring man,
Have you seen the Court House, where they do the
county biz,
That
cost us some dough, to put her where she is,
We have a Town Council, our Judges and Clerks,
The
Sheriff and Surveyor, takes in the whole works,
When your bones all ache, and your brain in a stuper,
Take my
advice, call in Doctor Cooper.
When life is all over, and you bid us adieu,
Two
undertakers will look after you,
And when you are buried, the relations you had,
Will
call on the Menkels to furnish the slab,
If I have missed anyone, please notify ME,
I live
on High Street, ah, hundred and three.
From Wim s Whims
By W. E. Wims 1922
Provided by
Gary E. Menkel
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